Once upon a time, the grandmother of a boy would see a girl at shul and say, “I have the best boy for you!” She’d give a few details, and the young people would agree to go out and see for themselves if the shidduch was shayach (suitable). This is the way all of our grandparents would do it. Someone would meet a great girl at a shabbos meal, and ask her out. Or they’d meet at the Night of Stars”, a planned event where marriageable age singles would go and meet each other. Times have changed since that decade and have left many of us in the dark. Mothers and singles feel at the mercy of shadchanim, who are overloaded with singles, have limited hours in the day, and are not compensated for their hours and hours of time spent doing this most important job. Most shadchanim I speak to wish there was a different way, and that their role of being a shadchan was unnecessary, since it would be so much easier for singles to be able to meet on their own.

Today, however, resumes are crucial to our shidduchim. It’s the only way to put out there most of the imformation people ask for when inquiring about a single they’re looking into. However resumes they have their drawbacks. It very often happens that a shidduch is stopped in its tracks even before the couple gets to meet. Yes,there is a great deal of information on paper, but could it be that that is the problem? A piece of paper should never replace going out on a first date and seeing where it goes. But, unfortunately, when everything about a person is in front of you on that resume, it can lead singles to forget the big picture of who a person is, and they refuse to even go on a date. This happens even when the girl and boy are in the same town. Rather, singles tend to revert to the perfect picture that exists only in their minds. Feeling that things can not be compromised on, they say it doesn’t seem ideal, so “why give it a date?” As the famous quote goes, “Don’t let the imaginary person in your head keep you from learning to love the person standing right in front of you.”

I have seen many examples of such situations, which I feel must be told to others as a learning experience. For instance, one boy said no to meeting a wonderful, beautiful girl, living in the same town. This was because, after inquiring how outgoing the girl was, on a scale of one to ten, he heard she was a seven – and he said, “I need more of an eight, personality-wise.” I have heard from the parent of a kollel boy that he would like a girl who shops at high-end stores like Saks 5^th Ave and Nordstrom rather than Macy’s-type stores, yet she should also be open to supporting him in learning for the first five years. I’ve had a girl go out who told me everything was perfect with a boy she was dating, however it bothered her too much that he was only 2 inches taller than her.

It’s not just the boys, though. Many girls say no to even giving a wonderful guy a chance because something on his resume is not perfectly in line with her ideal picture. For instance I have seen girls nix shidduchim with wonderfully shtark (religiously strong) and learned boys, because they were looking for someone in full-time learning, and the boy on paper had plans to go to work and be kovea itim. I have also often heard girls say no because a boy seemed “too quiet” on paper. There is nothing wrong with having a general picture of what you are looking for, but if you have everything planned out, and you see something different on a resume, don’t make the mistake of saying no to meeting the boy because of this. A resume should never replace a date.

As Rabbi Manis Friedman once said, rather than looking for the perfect guy or the perfect girl, our singles should be looking for a good wife, or a good husband. Because as we all know, the perfect guy/girl does not exist; and if one thinks she exists, and one marries someone he thinks is perfect, he is in for a shock once he is actually married to the person, and will have a lot to work on during marriage. Yes one must be very attracted to the person he marries, but if he’s looking to get married he must also realize and come to terms that this perfect girl will age, she will gain weight while pregnant, and if he only married her because she was ‘the perfect girl’ – he will have many issues staying married. Rather than if he’s looking for an amazing wife, which includes being attracted (but in no way looking for perfection) those qualities are ones that never age and never fade.

As long as the important basics are there – basics such as middos (character), how the person treats others, chesed, basic attraction, and other qualities that are crucial to a happy marriage, please do yourselves a favor and give it a date to see if things go well in person.

Part 2 to follow….

Author Biography: Michelle Mond from Baltimore, MD is a licensed Esthetician by profession, and is currently working as a busy wife and mother. In her extra time she works as a shadchan for young men and women all over the US, in addition to writing about shidduch-related topics for local papers.

The post Tips for Jewish Singles: How to Maximize your Shidduchim and Find Your Bashert More Easily – Part 1 appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

With our Jewish dating site, we have created a secure platform for finding a match for you. Once you think you have found someone who shares your beliefs, passion, and goals for life, you can now plan on a face to face greeting.

It is completely normal to feel those first date jitters. Even though you have spent time chatting and breaking the “online” ice, it is not the same as when you get to physically meet the other person.

Below we have outlined a few tips for getting through that first real date.

1. Try to ensure both sides do some talking and some listening. Nobody wants to sit listening to a monologue. Ask each other questions and show interest in getting to know the other person.

2. You want to establish a rapport with the other person, and this does not have to take all day. Keep the first meet to a minimum so that you will have a lot more to talk about the second time around.

3. Be prepared in the sense that you save some questions for face to face. You can get a sense for someone by seeing their physical reactions.

4. Just relax and go with the flow. Dating is supposed to be fun so enjoy yourself.

At SawYouAtSinai, our Jewish dating website is available for those in the Jewish community who are searching for their match. By entering your information, you are on your way to finding your potential true love.

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Your religious views shape you as a person from your morals and virtues to ideal lifestyles. This is where the use of a reputable matchmaking service and letting their professional expertise to pair you with a person who shares these invaluable outlooks that you hold dear is why web dating holds such high success rates.

Signing up for a dating website that is centrally focused around religion is also that peace of mind you may be seeking (especially by a Jewish mother!). These fellow members are looking for the same thing you are – love with someone who shares the same values.

Finding A Match As A Jewish Single Has Become Easier

More Jewish singles are turning to religious-centric matchmaking services because religious observance is a common ground for daters and it becomes the solid foundation to build an everlasting relationship.

SawYouAtSinai is a Jewish dating service where mutual views, morals and lifestyles are shared and where soulmates are formed.

The matchmakers at SawYouAtSinai will conduct a completely confidential interview with you upon joining to delve deeper into what you are seeking in a partner; deal breakers and non-negotiables. After that, the matchmaking begins.

When you are ready to explore the online dating scene, let the experts at SawYouAtSinai end your search for love. Signup to become a member today!

The post Your Religion Is A Key Factor In Finding A Match – How? appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

Well explore the land of SawYouAtSinai, a private and personalized matchmaking experience proven to find you your soulmate.

If faith is a deciding factor in whom your next lover will be, you are going to want to explore religious-centric dating sites like SawYouAtSinai. Websites that are focused on matching singles based on religious values and common ideologies are ones that are proven to create life-long relationships.

SawYouAtSinai, unlike some common dating sites and apps, strives to find you your perfect match and soulmate, not just a fling.

Many first-time matchmaking service users are afraid to break down their walls and take that first step. It may be acquired taste and it may take you a moment to get your feet wet but once you do, you are destined to find your soulmate in a world of Jewish singles who utilize matchmaking sites.

The best part of joining a matchmaking site like this one is that you don’t have to do any work! We understand that everyone has busy lives and that hustle and bustle can be a major factor in finding time to meet “the one.” When you sign-up, you’ll be assigned two matchmakers who handle all the work for you with traditional matchmaking practices with modern digital technology. All you have to do is allow the expert to understand the traits you are looking for in a partner and they’ll move forward with finding you a compatible mate.

What are you waiting for? It’s time to get back out there and come explore the world of proven success with matchmaking at SawYouAtSinai, join us today!

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Online dating websites have brought thousands of people together. Through a secured platform, singles can create a profile of themselves. From there, you can be linked to others whom you share similarities with and hopefully, you can meet and the rest be history!

We have developed a dating website for the Jewish Community members to find that ideal someone special who values their faith too.

Here is a top 10 list of items to make your Jewish dating profile work:

1. Your dating profile is the first impression, so start off with a good profile picture. Avoid photos that are blurry, from the past, with others, or where you are too far from the camera. You want a clear face with a smile!
2. To amplify your main traits, describe yourself in more than just one word adjectives. For example, I am most happiest when traveling abroad, trying out new and ethnic restaurants, meeting new people, etc.
3. Complete your profile before you post it.
4. Be truthful to who you are and what you want. Just as you don’t want to waste your time, neither do others viewing your profile.
5. Distinguish between needs and wants. If you need someone who is committed to following their faith, list that. If finding someone who is 6 feet or has black hair, those are preferences, not a deal breaker.
6. Too long wish lists are turn offs. Keep it simple, you can discuss more in person.
7. When listing age ranges, be realistic. It is best to list for example, ages 30 to 35 rather than 27-33.
8. Make sure you spell check.
9. Have a list of references for authenticity (just like with a resume).
10. Be patient. Sometimes it can take a few weeks to match. On the flip side, take risks and go for it.

Saw You At Sinai is an online Jewish matchmaking approach that gives members a unique edge on dating. To get started on your profile, sign up for your membership here today!

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