Don’t Be This Character in Your Online Dating Photos

By Shidduch Photographer

We all want to look good in our photos, but is there such a thing as too good?

Sometimes people can go overboard with their efforts to take a good dating profile photo, and when they do; they can put themselves into what we refer to as a “character”. By doing this, they not only portray themselves in a way that is not their authentic selves, but also, their “character” does not convey husband or wife material.

Take a look at your photographs, and make sure that you are not pigeonholing yourself into one of these characters:

Too Cool For Shul

This character looks like an AList movie star showing off while on vacation. Signs include: dark sunglasses, fancy cars, leather jackets, smoking a cigarette, a facial expression with attitude. Although a bad boy may be appealing on one level, you’re not expecting someone with that kind of attitude to make a good spouse.

The Vamp

This character wants to show that they are sexy, and goes way too far in showing it so that it turns out to be just about the only thing they do show about themselves. Signs include: pouty lips, showing too much skin, and poses in suggestive positions. While someone who sees your photo may find you appealing, the photo itself also suggests shallowness. It also suggests that you might not know when it is appropriate to “turn it off.”

Prince or Princess

This character wears only designer everything. Signs include: Designer eyeglasses, designer jewelry, designer clothes, designer accessories, and designer shoes.  It makes us wonder if they are too high maintenance or possibly massively in debt. Someone who might be an appropriate match, may pass them by, feeling that they are out of their league.

The Perpetual Youth

This character keeps using that same great photo that was taken when they were in high school or college even though that was 20 years ago. Signs include: Photos made from film, big hair, popped collars, and faces that generally don’t match the age stated in the profile. This is one of the most common characters that matchmakers have complained to us about. It wastes people’s time. When it comes to dating photographs, honesty is the best policy.

The Bodiless Person

This character only shows extreme closeups of their face. Signs include: You only get to see their face and the upper part of their neck. Matchmakers complained to us that many singles do this in order to hide a weight problem, and advise instead to be honest and show their full body photojust dress in a tasteful, flattering way.

The Party Animal

This character always shows themselves in a party situation with drinks in hand, or nearby. Signs include: Plenty of alcohol in the photo. “Party animal” does not really say “Marriageminded”. Enough said.

The Popular Person

This character is never alone in their online dating profile photos. Signs include: Photos with more than one person in it. This causes confusion, as potential partners try to figure out A) Which one is you, if you are in a photo with friends of your own gender,. and, even worse, B) Did you post a photo of yourself with an ex?

The Recent BreakUp

This character shows themselves in a photo with some body part of their ex . Signs include: a picture of a person with a dismembered arm around them. The problem with this is that the potential match viewing your photo spends time wondering whom you cut out of the picture, and why? Instead, we suggest that you make the time and effort to take a new photo with just you in it.

As you can see, it can be very easy to let a few photos tell a story about you that you didn’t intend to tell. Sometimes, even just one photo of the types mentioned above can be enough to put off potential matches from considering you. Remember that the “character” you really want to portray is yourself. You are a multidimensional person, and it is important to reflect that in your profile.

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Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com