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Coronadating: To The Millennial Gen

April 8th, 2020 Blog Writer

If anyone can win #coronadating, it’s you: the Millennial Generation.

Coronadating: No matter how much I encourage you to pick up the phone, you always text to set up your dates, text between the dates, text even once you’re dating for weeks or months.  You’re an expert at expressing emotion through emojis and gifs. One of my couples, now married, literally only spoke on the phone 3 times in 15 months of dating! (And now you know exactly how many fights they had).

You also communicate with those closest to you via Instagram and Facebook video stories, and Tik-Toks.  Facetime or other video calls are the preferred in-real-time communication after texting.

You also text me – and your friends – non-stop about who you heard is dating whom, who you see in a restaurant on what appears to be a dinner date.  Many of you assume real-life Gossip Girl (and guy) personas texting me pictures of couples you’ve “spotted” or screenshots from social media. You are professionals at having the perfect social media images.

So, maybe you were right all along.  While our parents will always find our reliance on digital communication frustrating and hard to understand, you, my younger co-millennials, have all the skills necessary to meet, date and fall in love during this crisis.  So, while I don’t know exactly how things will evolve, I know the change in how you date will work out – whether it’s weeks or months of phone and video dating – I just know it will.  You are a millenial; this is how you communicate.

CoronaDating: Will Coronavirus change who you date?

I hope that you can take advantage of the fact that during this crisis, there is no activity, no noise, and so much less distraction.  You can have a dinner video date with someone and no longer need to think about whether you and it look perfect, about spying eyes, or about being spotted and talked about.  No one will judge you for who you are with or what you are wearing or how close you are sitting or how intimate the conversation looks.

This is a time that you may give someone different than your usual type a try now because you no longer have social pressure, or because you feel the misery of isolation or simply because in times of crisis we are more desperate for the basic human need of love and companionship.  Why not text someone new? Out of sheer curiosity? Or because you will have less accountability and certainly a smaller time and financial commitment to meet someone? Because there will be no need to think about time commitments, the price of drinks or dinner, or coming up with an activity?  In the coming years, we will all read about marriages of people whose romances began over text during Coronavirus.

I encourage you to be more open minded.  We do know how long this pandemic is going to last, and time is precious.

Try it, just try it.  Just a text. Think of virtual dating during Coronavirus like the way you meet people organically.  Picture yourself talking to a graduate school classmate or professional colleague, where there is no instant judgement because there are no expectations in that setting.  You are not on a 2 hour date over drinks under pressure to make a decision of whether a second date will be worthwhile (because you are suddenly omnipotent and can fully and rightly conclude in 120 minutes or less if you can marry this person).  You are not checking off boxes or examining what the deal breakers are; you just text or talk for the sake of talking. You are not attracted to each other but who cares? You are not thinking or worrying about how you’re dressed or if you’re being flirty.  It is just pure camaraderie. In a subsequent conversation, you may find yourself laughing or smiling, realizing you share interests and are pleasantly surprised to learn you have friends in common. As you continue to get to know each other you realize you have a comfort and familiarity.  You start to feel like old friends, the kind you have known for years, the one where you can just pick up right where you left off. And that person, they actually are very cute!

Without pressure, with just texting or talking, you have a chance to get to know someone unexpected and find that you will have found someone who is perfect for you, someone you would have never otherwise considered before.  Not necessarily perfect, but perfect for you.

So Millennials, as you balance the price of giving up the independence of your Manhattan apartment for companionship for the Holidays this week, albeit your parents who will immediately treat you like children, allow #coronadating to let you look at the quest for companionship anew so that you too may finally fall asleep, exhausted and scared, smartphone still in hand, yet finally clinging to the one you love.

If you would like to reach out to Lori for additional advice, matchmaking or dating coaching please email her at info@lorisalkin.com

Saw You At Sinai
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