Jewish Dating: Inch by Inch
August 5th, 2015
Mark led the way to a new coffee shop he had discovered on the other side of town. This is Mark and Rebecca’s first date. They sat down at a table outside, and Rebecca ordered black coffee while Mark ordered a latte. The singles stare at each other as they wait for their drinks to come.
“So, what brand of diapers do you think we should buy for the kids we’ll have?” asked Rebecca.
Whoa, Whoa! The first date is way to soon to start talking about the children you’ll have! It will make the date feel uncomfortable and nervous. On the other hand, it is important to discuss plans for the future before you marry someone. So what should the dating couple do?
I believe that there are three levels of conversation that daters should slowly progress through, in roughly this order:
1.- Small talk: This is all the light and fluffy stuff. Current events, stories from the workplace, hobbies and interests are great topics for the first date. These are the fun topics, and they don’t involve anything personal that will creep out your date.
2- The personal stuff- In later dates, you will need to ask yourself the question “Who is this person?” Find out your date’s beliefs, family relationships, and personality. This builds a deeper relationship than the surface questions, but they have a greater potential to become awkward. Especially when you bring up your potato chip collection.
3- Actual plans for a future together- Once you both reach a mental understanding that you are both interested in marriage, start planning specifics. Where would you live? Would you like to have kids? Where will your kids live when they have kids? This is stuff you’d like to clear away before you marry someone.
Stay tuned for more Jewish dating advice next week!
Tell us how you tackle dating conversation in the comments below!
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