Jewish Dating: Quit While You’re Ahead?
August 11th, 2015
It’s always mean to hurt other people’s feelings, but if you have to hurt someone, it’s better to hurt someone a little bit than to hurt someone a lot, right? This sounds like something very simple, but it’s actually a lot harder to do in practice.
For example lets say you go on a date, and you suddenly realize that the person sitting across from you is not the person you’d like to share your life with. You have two choices:
a) don’t set up another date
b) set up another date or two, after which you will break up.
On one hand, option a) looks more insulting, because you weren’t even entertaining the possibility of a future together after one date.
However, the truth is that option b) is even more painful. It gives your date a false sense of affection between the two of you, which makes the breakup even more painful for your date, who may have actual feelings for you.
Now, I am not talking about cases where you aren’t sure whether you are interested. In those circumstances, by all means keep dating, because it is difficult to know what you think of someone until you’ve gone on a few dates with someone.
While I’m on the subject of breaking up, if you unfortunately have to break up with someone, it’s important to do it as respectfully as possible. For example, if you are breaking up with your date because he or she is not smart enough for your tastes, DO NOT admit that. Instead say something vague about how you feel it isn’t working out for the two of you.
Well that was a pretty pessimistic post! Before I end, I’d like to emphasize that we live in a consumerist culture in which we always think the next match will have absolutely no flaws and therefore we don’t give our current date the chance that he or she deserves. Consider everyone long and hard before breaking up, and don’t break up just because you think that the next person you date will be even better. Judge each date for who he or she is, and not for who the next person could be.
What are your feelings about breaking up? Comment below!
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