By Aleeza Ben Shalom

There is one thing you can do to make your online Jewish dating a better experience: Create a profile that not only gets the information across, but shows some of your personality as well. Start with an articulate and creative opening. When scrolling through many Jewish Dating prospects you want to stand out. Your goal is to get a quick message across to the reader to help them know the real you.

How do you do that? Avoid cliches. Avoid lists of adjectives separated by commas. And don’t tell people what your friends say about you. Do share a short memory or talk about your favorite or most meaningful experience. Be genuine, real and sincere. If you’re not the linguistically creative or articulate type, find a friend to help you create your unique paragraph describing who you are. However, be sure to remain true to your voice, as we don’t want your friend’s voice to come through louder than your own.

Easier said than done, I know. So to get you started, with my clients’ permission, below are a few great examples of how to start a dating profile.

Jewish Dating Profile field ‘About me':

My first memory is of a magician putting flour, milk and eggs into a pot and pulling out a white rabbit. Despite being two years old, that feeling of intrigue and curiosity has never left me. As a kid, I took apart phones and put them together, roamed the halls of my library in search of knowledge, and was somebody that always wanted to learn how the world and life works. I’m still like that today.

What I love about this write-up is that he used a story from childhood to tell about part of his personality which is still true about him today. He grabbed and engaged the reader in just 3 lines.

I am a person who sees the world in shades of gray rather than in black and white. I am well read and possess a personable and sophisticated nature. I am an intuitive person with an adventurous side which is balanced by a deeply calm sense of self. I enjoy making others laugh, and I appreciate balance in the different extremes of life. My nature and my work has given me the ability to walk gracefully amongst multiple worlds, while remaining focused and true to my values.

While this writer uses some adjectives to describe herself, the words and descriptions she uses are not the routine things I see in a profile. Words like “personable” and “sophisticated nature” stand out, and are specific enough to give the reader of vision. I also appreciate that she showed two different sides of herself: She is adventurous as well as balanced by a calm sense of self. Quite articulate.

I’m no “cookie cutter”…I love to travel and explore the world. I have lived in several countries over the past 15 years. Friends and family are important to me, and I try to bring joy as much as possible to other people’s lives. I love a good book that delves deep into the human experience and love learning new things every day.

I’m very easy-going until you get to know me. While greeting all the people I know is very important to me, I’d much rather find just one person for a really good conversation. In fact, I’d rather have a good conversation than almost any other activity. Though I do enjoy cultivating minds and other growing things, sharing experiences with my family and friends and continuing the ever present battle against clutter, mental and physical.

It’s easy for me to hear the unique personality of the writer above. With lines like “I’m no cookie cutter” and “I’m very easy-going until you get to know me,” I can get a sense of his character, and also the sense that he will make me laugh.

Jewish Dating field ‘What I’m looking for':

I find honesty, self-awareness, intelligence and determination to succeed at his ideals, despite past challenges and the fact that they are actually ideals, some of the most attractive elements of a personality. I respect men who show loyalty and respect for the people and institutions that helped make them who they are or hope to be. I also appreciate men who take responsibility for

themselves and others and are serious about continually learning and growing.

The author above shows that she is a deep thinker, self-aware and intelligent. Her style of writing won’t attract everyone—and that’s good! Part of creating a good profile is making it individual enough that it wards off the people who aren’t a good match. What we write and how we choose to say it are all clues of our personality.

Below is the end of a client’s Jewish dating profile. This bit of extra info is quite helpful to the reader. You can see his sense of humor come through.

Nice bonuses, but not required:

1. Creative—enjoys finding her creative side.
2. Elegant!—I would appreciate being with someone who enjoys being put together.
3. Passionate—If you have your own passions, interests, hobbies…then I’m interested.

PS: if you are afraid of change, I’m afraid of you.

Grab a glass of wine, dim the lights and have a date with yourself. Let your inner self come out. Start writing whatever comes to mind; you can edit later. Just keep writing until you get something on the page that you like.

May you find the right words at the right time, and may they lead you to the right person.
About Aleeza:

The post Jewish Dating: Develop an Eye-Catching Online Profile appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

Wrinkles You Can Get Rid Of Easily! No, Not THOSE Wrinkles.

As we have stressed repeatedly: a photograph captures just one instant in time and immortalizes it. This makes it important to get all the details right in that instant.

One of the things that can easily happen to ruin a photograph is that the subject can move and introduce wrinkles into their previously wrinkle­free clothing. Even though these are wrinkles from the way the subject is positioned, and not actually wrinkled clothing, in a still photograph, they just look like wrinkles.

Even though Breindel’s shirt isn’t wrinkled, wrinkles do momentarily appear as Breindel moves around. In real life, our brains process all of this motion and come to the conclusion, “The shirt is not wrinkled.” However, this moment is examined on its own on a photograph, therefore it would appear that Breindel is wearing a wrinkled shirt and it would be a distraction in the image and make viewers wonder why Breindel dressed so sloppily.

This is why it is important to pose and groom oneself even for a “candid” photograph.

To make sure your profiles don’t mar your appearance with these kind of wrinkles, make sure your photographer is watching for wrinkles each time they take a photo. Or have a second person standing by to smooth out your clothing after each change of pose.

Jewish Singles Profile Photo No Wrinkles

Jewish Singles Profile Photo with Wrinkles

****Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com

The post Jewish Dating Tips: Wrinkles You Can Get Rid Of Easily! appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

The purpose of your online dating photo is to give the viewer some insight as to what you look like, aswell as to your character. Therefore, the most important part of your photo is your facial expression.

When someone is taking your profile photo, make sure your image isn’t captured with a shocked, blank, or even creepy expression, by doing the following: Think about something specific and imagine all the details. This will give you an emotion, which will translate onto your face as an expression. And that expression will give your still photo life, and give the viewer a glimpse into your personality.

By working on this with the person taking your photo, you will get a photo that represents the real you to someone who doesn’t know you.

To develop a strong expression, think about something specific. For example, rather than thinking about “being happy”, you want to think about a particular experience that made you happy.

Here are some suggestions of things to think about while you are having your photo taken, that will help you get a good expression on your face. Try them out and see what works best for you.

Suggestions for Things Women Can Think About

Flirty – ­ How would you look if you saw a guy you liked from across the room and you were hoping he would notice you? Give that look to the camera.

Love ­ – Think of the warm feeling that being in love gives you.

Secret nobody knows ­ – We don’t know that secret to tell you to think about.. but you do!

Favorite treat ­ – At the end of the workday, what kind of treat would you like to come home to? (For Breindel, it’s dark chocolate.)

Suggestions for Things Men Can Think About

Strength – ­ Think of something that you do better than other guys: swimming, chess, etc.

Lucky day – ­ You just won tickets to the game! Let’s see the smile.

Accomplishment ­ – Something you are proud of: catching a big fish, getting a promotion, etc.

Try a variety of these thoughts in your photos, look at the results, and see which helps bring out your personality the best. Remember, you are not just showing your face in a photo, you are giving the viewer insight into your character, and that will entice them to get to know you better.

*****

Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com

The post Jewish Dating Profile: Things to think about while your photo is being taken appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

In your shidduch photographs, there should be only one thing that shines, and that’s you. The shiny spot is what gets noticed, and we don’t want anything detracting from your inner spark and your killer smile. Here are several pitfalls to avoid:

 FACE

Remember how in all those old movies, the women were always going off to powder their noses? Well, that’s what you might need to do, in order to get your best photo. Even if you don’t need face powder in real life, you may need to use it when being photographed. Light may reflect on the oil of your skin. Being nervous in front of the camera may make you sweat, giving your skin more shine than you would like. You can find face powder in the makeup sections of drugstores and department store cosmetic sections (we use Elf HD (High Definition) Face Powder in clear), or you can use baby powder applied with a cotton ball. As far as makeup, frosted eyeshadow, frosted lipstick or glittery blush, should not be worn in photos.

LIGHTS

Lights are used to highlight your best angles. Keep the light sources themselves out of the picture, lest you be upstaged by a bright glare.

WINDOWS and MIRRORED SURFACES

These also can be glare sources, especially if you’re using a flash – you will see the flash in the reflections.

EYEGLASSES

Eyeglasses reflect light sources and camera flashes, which will mask the one thing we most want the viewer to see: your eyes! If you’re being photographed with your eyeglasses on, you’ll want to take many photos with your head angled in slightly different positions and/or with the camera moving to catch you at slightly different angles, so that you get some photos in which your glasses don’t have glare. And remember (from our Character article), no sunglasses!

BACKGROUND

Car lights, traffic lights, the sun, shiny steel poles, torches from angry villagers, are all common distractions in photographs. We recommend keeping them out of the frame. (Especially the angry villagers. Sometimes you just have to run away very fast.)

CLOTHING

Avoid clothing materials that are shiny, such as: satin, spandex, sequins, glitter, jeweled buttons, etc.

JEWELRY

Some jewelry or a watch, is fine, but don’t overdo it. Too many shiny pieces of gold and silver, diamonds and rhinestones, will only draw the eye of the viewer away from your face and toward the glitz.

We hope this article helps improve your next photograph: Take away the shiny, to make it your time to shine!

*****

Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com

The post How to Shine in Your Photos… By Not Shining appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

We all want to look good in our photos, but is there such a thing as too good?

Sometimes people can go overboard with their efforts to take a good dating profile photo, and when they do; they can put themselves into what we refer to as a “character”. By doing this, they not only portray themselves in a way that is not their authentic selves, but also, their “character” does not convey husband or wife material.

Take a look at your photographs, and make sure that you are not pigeonholing yourself into one of these characters:

Too Cool For Shul

This character looks like an AList movie star showing off while on vacation. Signs include: dark sunglasses, fancy cars, leather jackets, smoking a cigarette, a facial expression with attitude. Although a bad boy may be appealing on one level, you’re not expecting someone with that kind of attitude to make a good spouse.

The Vamp

This character wants to show that they are sexy, and goes way too far in showing it so that it turns out to be just about the only thing they do show about themselves. Signs include: pouty lips, showing too much skin, and poses in suggestive positions. While someone who sees your photo may find you appealing, the photo itself also suggests shallowness. It also suggests that you might not know when it is appropriate to “turn it off.”

Prince or Princess

This character wears only designer everything. Signs include: Designer eyeglasses, designer jewelry, designer clothes, designer accessories, and designer shoes.  It makes us wonder if they are too high maintenance or possibly massively in debt. Someone who might be an appropriate match, may pass them by, feeling that they are out of their league.

The Perpetual Youth

This character keeps using that same great photo that was taken when they were in high school or college even though that was 20 years ago. Signs include: Photos made from film, big hair, popped collars, and faces that generally don’t match the age stated in the profile. This is one of the most common characters that matchmakers have complained to us about. It wastes people’s time. When it comes to dating photographs, honesty is the best policy.

The Bodiless Person

This character only shows extreme closeups of their face. Signs include: You only get to see their face and the upper part of their neck. Matchmakers complained to us that many singles do this in order to hide a weight problem, and advise instead to be honest and show their full body photojust dress in a tasteful, flattering way.

The Party Animal

This character always shows themselves in a party situation with drinks in hand, or nearby. Signs include: Plenty of alcohol in the photo. “Party animal” does not really say “Marriageminded”. Enough said.

The Popular Person

This character is never alone in their online dating profile photos. Signs include: Photos with more than one person in it. This causes confusion, as potential partners try to figure out A) Which one is you, if you are in a photo with friends of your own gender,. and, even worse, B) Did you post a photo of yourself with an ex?

The Recent BreakUp

This character shows themselves in a photo with some body part of their ex . Signs include: a picture of a person with a dismembered arm around them. The problem with this is that the potential match viewing your photo spends time wondering whom you cut out of the picture, and why? Instead, we suggest that you make the time and effort to take a new photo with just you in it.

As you can see, it can be very easy to let a few photos tell a story about you that you didn’t intend to tell. Sometimes, even just one photo of the types mentioned above can be enough to put off potential matches from considering you. Remember that the “character” you really want to portray is yourself. You are a multidimensional person, and it is important to reflect that in your profile.

*****

Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com

The post Don’t Be This Character in Your Online Dating Photos appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

When it comes to shidduch photos, a clothing error could influence someone to say no to you, based on what they infer about you from your photo.

The clothes you wear in your shidduch photo should be clothes that you look best in on a daily basis (on a date, etc.)… but not exactly. It is important to remember that a photo is not exactly reality.

In reality, when you meet someone, they see you in motion and from different angles. This is how they develop a general understanding of how you look. But in a photo, one moment is captured forever — so you want to make your photo be your best moment!

Eric and I suggest seven clothing guidelines for you to make your photos the most flattering:

1. Colors – wear the group of colors that flatters your complexion, and avoid the group that is unflattering. The two color groups we are referring to, are “cool” and “warm” colors. Cool colors include purples, plums, blues, bluish greens (teal, turquoise), bluish reds (maroon, burgundy, pink) and bluish browns (mushroom, taupe). Warm colors include oranges and yellows, and the warmer versions of other colors, such as yellowish greens (lime, olive), orangish reds and browns (rust, chocolate), and peach and coral.
2. Fit – You want to be able to move well in your clothes, without them being so loose as to leave you shapeless. You don’t want them to bunch up or pull. If you’ve gained or lost weight, it’s important to wear the size garments that you now are.
3. Style – Some women attempt to dress elegantly, using draping fabrics or thick materials that hang in unflattering ways. Some women try to look younger by dressing in clothes that a teenager would wear. Either direction could make a woman look older. Men, on the other hand, have a different problem. Many have a limited judgement on what clothes correctly fit them, or what goes with what. If this is the case, find someone knowledgeable at a clothing store who can help you.
4. Black or not black? – Depending on your hashkafa, you may want to wear colors other than black. Black on women who wear no makeup can look very stark. However, on a woman who wears makeup and styles her hair, black can be very striking. For both men and women, a problem with wearing black in photos, is that black absorbs light, and therefore hides contours and can make you look like one solid piece. A good choice when posing while wearing black, would be to make sure that there is space between your arms and torso, and also to have white or another light color close to your face, such as a white collar or shirt peaking out, or a strand of white pearls.
5. Textures – Ribbed thick sweaters, velvet, and other thick materials add to heaviness in photos. Shiny satin, stripes, patterns and wrinkles take the focus away from the face. Draping fabrics create weight from billowing or rippling folds. Tiny holes in clothes, which may not be noticeable in real life, are very noticeable and distracting in photos.
6. Eyeglasses – Make sure that photos with glasses are taken at an angle so as to not show glare. Also, take some photos without them, so that people can see your eyes.
7. Footwear – Dark footwear draws the least attention in a photo. You should wear footwear appropriate to the rest of your outfit. If you are wearing a formal outfit, even if your footwear isn’t going to show in the photo, wear the appropriate footwear.

A photo is not exactly reality, and so it is important to remember that every aspect of the photo is conveying information to the person who is viewing it. Eric and I suggest taking test photos of yourself dressed in different outfits, to see what clothing works for you in a photo, and what doesn’t.

Remember: You’re not dressing for a date — you’re dressing for a photo. Take advantage of your ability to make your photo the most flattering by carefully choosing your clothing.

Breindel poses in a black, puffy sweater and you can’t tell where her torso ends and her arms begin. This makes her look larger than she really is

Breindel poses in a grey shirt and you can clearly see her actual size.

*****

Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com

The post How to Dress For Your Most Flattering Photo appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

When it comes to shidduchim, a big controversy seems to be whether needing to see a photo of someone before you meet them, means that you are shallow. Breindel and I are here to tell you that not only is seeing a picture not shallow, it’s necessary. Here are 10 reasons why a photo is important no matter how much you trust your shadchan:

1.    CHOICE OF PHOTO: Everybody occasionally takes a picture in which they don’t look good in some way. However, people who are “right in their mind”, recognize that they’re not supposed to POST those pictures. That’s the difference!

2.  CLASHING VALUES: If someone posts a photo that you find obviously objectionable, then perhaps that’s a sign that you’re not compatible. Examples: A man holding a dead reindeer, or bucket of fish might not be the best match for a vegetarian. Or, if a woman is smoking a cigarette, or drinking alcohol in a photo, this may not be the best match for a man who abstains

3.  HYGIENE: Does their hair look clean or greasy? Brushed or with knots? Are the buttons of their shirt lined up? Do their clothes have wrinkles? Or does the person look clean and neatly put together?

4.   TASTE:  Are they a “designer label” person, or more casual? You could find yourself attracted to someone’s face, but not to their choice of chunky jewelry or pinky rings. Their style may be loud or reserved, and it may or may not be important to you.

5.     EMOTIONAL STABILITY: If you are getting the impression from someone’s eyes and facial expression that they are emanating rage or are devoid of emotion whatsoever, or if something else about them makes you feel unsafe, don’t second guess yourself.

6.     HIDING: Is he wearing sunglasses so that you don’t know what he actually looks like? Does her photo show face and neck only, so that you can’t tell what body type she has? Is the photo airbrushed so that she looks 20 years younger than she really is? Is he wearing a hat so that you can’t tell if he has hair? This issue of hiding things in the photo, extends to Honesty and Trust. How can you build a relationship if they are trying to deceive you from the get-go

7.     COMMON INTERESTS: Something in the photo might show an interest that you admire or have in common with the person: pets, a musical instrument, tennis racket, car, boat, bicycle, an award etc

8.     ENERGY: Is his or her facial expression and body language showing you someone who is peaceful, enthusiast, shy, outgoing, sweet, high energy, sarcastic, confident, silly?

9.     HEALTH: Does his face look gaunt? Does she look exhausted with bags under her eyes? Or is she radiant?  Does he look fit?

10.  EFFORT: Is his photo a cell phone “selfie” taken on the first attempt with no expression? A snapshot they took of themselves in a spotty mirror? A photo with an “ex” cut out but leaving their arm in there? Did she not bother to take one for their profile at all and is using a photo from eight years ago? Or did she take the time to dress and groom, and have someone take a bunch of photos and pick the best ones? How many photos are up there? One isn’t enough — at least three or four photos demonstrate that the person has made an effort to show what they really look like.

Bonus Round! And now we come to:

LOOKS. Wanting to see a potential partner’s looks isn’t shallow either! A common commentary, quoted from the Talmud, states,  “One should not marry someone whom he considers unattractive.”

Sometimes you see a person and you are instantly attracted –or not sure– and want to see where it could go. And sometimes you see a person and you just know, “This would never work.” The goal in shidduchim is to find your bashert, to spend the rest of your life with. Therefore, you want to quickly weed out the people that won’t match you, so that you can put your time and money toward meeting with people who are more likely to be your bashert. Starting off with a photo, will do just that.

*****

Blog by Breindel and Eric.  They are the founders of ShidduchPhotographer.com, a photography service that specializes in improving your shidduch photos, using Staged to Look Natural™ Photography. Both of them work together during photo sessions to make sure you feel your best, so that you look your best.

Breindel and Eric are happy to give you advice about your Saw You At Sinai profile photos. Please email any photos you would like us to look at to breindel@shidduchphotographer.com

Weird Cat Lady

Classy Lady

The post Besides “Looks”: What Else a Photo Tells You appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.

Online dating websites have brought thousands of people together. Through a secured platform, singles can create a profile of themselves. From there, you can be linked to others whom you share similarities with and hopefully, you can meet and the rest be history!

We have developed a dating website for the Jewish Community members to find that ideal someone special who values their faith too.

Here is a top 10 list of items to make your Jewish dating profile work:

1. Your dating profile is the first impression, so start off with a good profile picture. Avoid photos that are blurry, from the past, with others, or where you are too far from the camera. You want a clear face with a smile!
2. To amplify your main traits, describe yourself in more than just one word adjectives. For example, I am most happiest when traveling abroad, trying out new and ethnic restaurants, meeting new people, etc.
3. Complete your profile before you post it.
4. Be truthful to who you are and what you want. Just as you don’t want to waste your time, neither do others viewing your profile.
5. Distinguish between needs and wants. If you need someone who is committed to following their faith, list that. If finding someone who is 6 feet or has black hair, those are preferences, not a deal breaker.
6. Too long wish lists are turn offs. Keep it simple, you can discuss more in person.
7. When listing age ranges, be realistic. It is best to list for example, ages 30 to 35 rather than 27-33.
8. Make sure you spell check.
9. Have a list of references for authenticity (just like with a resume).
10. Be patient. Sometimes it can take a few weeks to match. On the flip side, take risks and go for it.

Saw You At Sinai is an online Jewish matchmaking approach that gives members a unique edge on dating. To get started on your profile, sign up for your membership here today!

The post How To Make Your Jewish Dating Profile Work appeared first on Orthodox Jewish Dating And Matchmaking At Saw You At Sinai.